I cockslap morals
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
