he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
