Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Actions speak louder than pants.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
