i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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