I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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