Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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