After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
