Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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