He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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