Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
