She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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