We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
