Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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