i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Semen is not good for contacts.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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