Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
