i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
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so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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