Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
