There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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