Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
