My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
