Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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