Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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