i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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