there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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