Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
