First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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