Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
try to milk me bitch
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
