Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
