I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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