Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
