Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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