You made me cry and you don't even care
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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