Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
