is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
