Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I didn't notice because vodka
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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