I am puke
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
