I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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