Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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