She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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