R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize