We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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