dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
