I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
