I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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