Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
