I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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