Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
