Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize