he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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