omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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