we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My breasts were aching with rage.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
