Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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