you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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